Q&A-SCREAMING SISTERS
She's coming to visit for 10 days and I'm terrified that by hour 4 we will have returned to grade 6 and 8 where a name-calling deathmatch awaits.
How do I keep the peace (and minimize visible wounds) with my sister?
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1:12 AM |
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Q&A-WITCHES AT WORK
The snippy comments, back chat and eye rolls aren't enough to make me quit, but the self-esteem has taken a pounding.
I have done nothing to provoke this, other then go above and beyond my responsibilities. My boss showers me with compliments and I'm sure that has gained me a few haters. As much as I'd love to cuss them all out, 2 of the 4 skanks are related to the big boss and that wouldn't be a good look.
How can I stand my ground, save my self-esteem without adding fuel to the fire and getting fired!
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12:55 AM |
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GIRLS WHO GET IT - DREW BARRYMORE
Outnumbered in a very adult industry, Drew was up in the club at Studio 54 before she was in a training bra. The coke, weed and booze started at age 9, rehab by 13 and a suicide attempt a year later. It sounds as if Drew got the rebellion out of her system early because her story took a fantastic turn.
Today she is a successful film director, actress, producer, UN Ambassador and business woman. Drew lived to tell about the dark days and her authenticity oozes, affirming the idea that winter always turns into spring.
"I used to look in the mirror and feel shame, I look in the mirror now and I absolutely love myself."
Drew Barrymore is a Girl Who Gets It.
1:28 AM |
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Q&A- 7 YEAR DRY SPELL
I haven't had sex in 7 years. A traumatic childhood experience came back to haunt me at age 18 and my knees have been locked together since. Therapy and faith have got me to the point where I'm ready to, ahem, open up, but it's been sooo long!
Do I ease back into the dating game? Or should I get the rust out and stick to casual sex until I'm ready for something serious?
**question coming to us from Twitter**
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12:10 AM |
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H FOR HEIDI
It’s easy to shrug off ‘Speidi’ as conniving attention whores who may have hit the peroxide dye one to many times, however, to dismiss Heidi’s recent transformation as another stunt may be going to far. Or has she gone too far?
Her shadow might be the only thing the doctor didn’t slice and sew as she underwent 10 procedures in 10 hours. Forget the grossness of aligning this with her albums release date and chalking this up to a “spiritual experience that’s part of God’s plan”, but she didn’t even tell her parents that she would be erasing any resemblance of them from her face. On a quest for beauty, she wiped away all the features that made her unique and this 23 year old plastic doll will forever be in the shop getting touched up.
12:01 AM |
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GIRLS WHO GET IT-MARY J BLIGE
mary.when she was a BACK-UP singer for Al. B Sure, I was there.
when I was 15 and had my first break-up, she was there.
As a fan since 1992 (singing in the mirror with the brush and ALL that) its safe to say no other artist has played such a significant role in my life. I can't describe it but when it comes to Mary, MY Mary, there is a level of trust and connection that has developed over the years. We have never met, so how can this woman put my journal entries to song? Know my hurt, sing my secrets, scream my frustrations and make me feel better simultaneously?
Witnessing her lows with abuse addiction during "My Life" to putting her foot down and taking accountability for her choices saying "No More Drama" all those songs painted a clear picture: if she can do it, then I can do it. It didn't look easy, but it was honest and authentic and I believed her. To see Mary now - happy, in love with a family, looking better then ever and giving back to other women with her charity FFAWN, it is so inspiring.
That fortitude, that strength to turn an impossible obstacle into a winnable challenge - it's what has inspired me to write these stories, including my own, and share her same message. You CAN be better because of the B.S. There is a lesson under there but it takes guts and work and serious courage to face it and when you realize it's been there all this time, NO ONE can take it from you.
Mary gets it. Go 'head Mary.
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8:52 PM |
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FOCUS ON WHAT YOU CONTROL...
"if you want your environment to change, first you must change."
Ladies, this is one to print out!
Another fantastic article from the good people at Dumb Little Man.
The Things That We Control
Thoughts
Whether you realize it or not you do have the ability to control your thoughts. The first step is developing awareness that you do in fact have the ability to control what you are thinking. Unfortunately, advertisers, marketers, and anybody else who has benefited from attempting to exert influence over you, have done a pretty good job keeping you unaware. So how do you choose what to think? It's simple. Decide that YOU will be the one that chooses the thoughts and images that will fill your brain, not anybody else. Once you decide, then all you have to do is use empowering questions to control the focus of your mind.
Emotions
Emotions are largely a byproduct of what you are thinking. If you learn to control your thoughts, your emotions will eventually be under control. Learning to control emotions is important because they are extremely powerful. If there's anything that advertisers have learned it's that associating emotion with one of their products is exactly what you gets you to the next step, which is to take action.
Actions
If you haven't noticed by now, each one of these builds on the other, and if you don't control one, then you won't control the other. In other words if you don't control your thoughts and your emotions, your actions will occur on autopilot. Have you ever come from home shopping with what is referred to as an "impulse purchase"? This basically occurs because you see something, you have a thought about it, you have the sellers intended emotion, and you take the sellers intended action. Take control and take your intended action.
Reactions
If there's any phrase that might make you feel like I'm beating the dead horse of personal development it's that "Life is not about what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you?". I know it's been said over and over again, but it seems be the root structure of this tree we call personal development. How you react to everything that happens in your life is a choice. Setbacks, wipe outs, and the overall obstacles along the road of life are inevitable. But, how you deal with them will ultimately determine the quality of your life.
Energy
The life coach I work with once told me “assume that everybody you are talking to can feel everything you are thinking.” There’s no doubt that you feel a vibe from almost anybody you talk to. You’ve also been in a situation where somebody really liked you right off the bat. The combination of thoughts, emotions, actions, and reactions results in energy, and the energy you give off is something you control. By having good energy we attract positive experiences and people.
Thoughts
Whether you realize it or not you do have the ability to control your thoughts. The first step is developing awareness that you do in fact have the ability to control what you are thinking. Unfortunately, advertisers, marketers, and anybody else who has benefited from attempting to exert influence over you, have done a pretty good job keeping you unaware. So how do you choose what to think? It's simple. Decide that YOU will be the one that chooses the thoughts and images that will fill your brain, not anybody else. Once you decide, then all you have to do is use empowering questions to control the focus of your mind.
Emotions
Emotions are largely a byproduct of what you are thinking. If you learn to control your thoughts, your emotions will eventually be under control. Learning to control emotions is important because they are extremely powerful. If there's anything that advertisers have learned it's that associating emotion with one of their products is exactly what you gets you to the next step, which is to take action.
Actions
If you haven't noticed by now, each one of these builds on the other, and if you don't control one, then you won't control the other. In other words if you don't control your thoughts and your emotions, your actions will occur on autopilot. Have you ever come from home shopping with what is referred to as an "impulse purchase"? This basically occurs because you see something, you have a thought about it, you have the sellers intended emotion, and you take the sellers intended action. Take control and take your intended action.
Reactions
If there's any phrase that might make you feel like I'm beating the dead horse of personal development it's that "Life is not about what happens to you, but how you react to what happens to you?". I know it's been said over and over again, but it seems be the root structure of this tree we call personal development. How you react to everything that happens in your life is a choice. Setbacks, wipe outs, and the overall obstacles along the road of life are inevitable. But, how you deal with them will ultimately determine the quality of your life.
Energy
The life coach I work with once told me “assume that everybody you are talking to can feel everything you are thinking.” There’s no doubt that you feel a vibe from almost anybody you talk to. You’ve also been in a situation where somebody really liked you right off the bat. The combination of thoughts, emotions, actions, and reactions results in energy, and the energy you give off is something you control. By having good energy we attract positive experiences and people.
The Things We Don't Control
Other people's actions
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. As much as we’d like to think we have the ability to control other people’s actions, people will ultimately act according to their own will. Unless somebody holds a gun to another person’s head the action they take is their choice. We may have the ability to influence another person’s action, but we don’t control their action.
Other people's reactions
Have you ever walked up to somebody in a bar, restaurant or lounge, with a smile on your face and said “hello” only to have them blow you off with a scowl? Have you ever been to a restaurant and had a really obnoxious waiter or waitress? It’s likely that you have and if you haven’t you will at some point in your life. Most people are going through their own world of problems, and how they react to you often has nothing to do with you. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you should have no social boundaries and act like an idiot. But don’t take people’s reactions personally. You never know what they’re going through.
Divine Order
Human nature is to want to force everything. In fact we have continually invented technologies to speed up certain things in our lives, and in the process we often forget that there is a divine order in which things occur. The power of presence is another mantra that seems to be echoed throughout the personal development community. While the fact that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what you are supposed to be experiencing, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, may sometimes be disconcerting, it is a fact of life. An attempt to control divine order is an exercise in futility.
Nature
Let nature take its course. When you plant a seed, you don’t dig it up to see how well it’s growing. That would be completely silly and you would end up starting the process all over again with a new seed. It seems to me that manifesting things into our lives works in a similar manner. Every time we questions where the thing the we asked for is, it’s like digging up the seeds.
Let’s be honest with ourselves for a moment. As much as we’d like to think we have the ability to control other people’s actions, people will ultimately act according to their own will. Unless somebody holds a gun to another person’s head the action they take is their choice. We may have the ability to influence another person’s action, but we don’t control their action.
Other people's reactions
Have you ever walked up to somebody in a bar, restaurant or lounge, with a smile on your face and said “hello” only to have them blow you off with a scowl? Have you ever been to a restaurant and had a really obnoxious waiter or waitress? It’s likely that you have and if you haven’t you will at some point in your life. Most people are going through their own world of problems, and how they react to you often has nothing to do with you. Obviously, this doesn’t mean you should have no social boundaries and act like an idiot. But don’t take people’s reactions personally. You never know what they’re going through.
Divine Order
Human nature is to want to force everything. In fact we have continually invented technologies to speed up certain things in our lives, and in the process we often forget that there is a divine order in which things occur. The power of presence is another mantra that seems to be echoed throughout the personal development community. While the fact that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, experiencing exactly what you are supposed to be experiencing, doing exactly what you are supposed to be doing, may sometimes be disconcerting, it is a fact of life. An attempt to control divine order is an exercise in futility.
Nature
Let nature take its course. When you plant a seed, you don’t dig it up to see how well it’s growing. That would be completely silly and you would end up starting the process all over again with a new seed. It seems to me that manifesting things into our lives works in a similar manner. Every time we questions where the thing the we asked for is, it’s like digging up the seeds.
Have a similar story? Comments? Let us know below! Follow@butilovememore
1:09 AM |
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