ADVICE - EMBRACE YOUR INNER GIRL
ADVICE- A WEDDING IS ONE DAY
Today’s culture of marriage can be defined as confusing at best. Last week, a man got married to a pillow, but Ellen and Portia can’t walk down the aisle.
Weddings are a gajillion dollar industry where the average costs $30,000. Too pricey? Go on TV and for 12 suspenseful weeks, prove your love to a handsome stranger and at the last rose ceremony, he might propose! Even if you go the regular route, half of all couples get divorced, which can be a really stressful time. Unless you are semi famous because for you, life gets better!
Breakup benefits can be seen on TV’s most popular shows: Let’s Talk About Pep, Jon & Kate, and now Basketball Wives with Shaq’s ex at the Queen D (as in divorcee). Divorce continues to be a part of our culture and though I chose to be married, I’m not suggesting its right or wrong. I saw my parent’s divorce, friends parents and now my friends are signing “them papers”. When he put the ring on me, I feared it might burn. Kidding.
LIVE TO TELL: WAKE UP CALL
Mother Earth makes a minor adjustment and WHUUUM-WHUUUMP!
Left to right, my 1920's Spanish style home wobbled like someone just tickled it.
As the cat snores peacefully, I'm thrust out of my classic "swimming with whales" dream and into the surreal realization that the earth moved beneath me. This earthquake was very short, 1 second tops. Surprisingly, the shaking isn't so scary because when your brain computes what the hell just happened, it's over.
Your personal aftershock - mile a minute planning of escape routes, deciding what belongings are important enough to grab, the visualizing of dusty, waving limbs under buildings and the torturous anxiety of waiting for more movement - that defines scary. Fixated on fear, I lay there thinking "what if this was the big one?" or "what if this was IT?". As I drifted back to sleep, the heavy feeling remained that this was a wake up call in more ways then one. No one was hurt, most slept through the quake but mother nature rattled more then the earth today. Some folks wait for a heart attack or health issues to gain some perspective on their role in this world. I suppose needed heaven and earth to move. oh dramatic pisces.
I decided that now is the time to go get it, to be it, to live it and to tackle to paralyzing fear of it. I can't wait for earthquakes to slap me in to shape y'all, there is a life to go live! I decided that sharing my talent would be the best display of gratitude I could offer as it encourages others to do the same. I knew all of this before, but its funny what sticks after some shaking.
GIRLS WHO GET IT- MO'NIQUE
SENSUAL VS SEXUAL
As Valentines approaches, love is in the air but so is desperation! While out shopping for something special, girls were prepping for this romantic weekend by getting “hoe’d up” for the clubs. I suppose red latex does mean love…
*as seen on www.babyyu.com
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LIVE TO TELL: VALENTINES FAIL
Many moons ago, before I was clear about what I expected in a relationship, I attracted Max. Cute, sweet but simple and though he tried, Max was inconsistent and unoriginal. By February, my 9 month relationship with *Max was clearly coming to a close but I had couldn’t dump him until Valentine’s was over. To avoid being a heartless bitch, I suffered a few more days of the awkwardness until I could end it. Out of obligation I bought him a card and before he came over, I cleaned my room, briefly entertained the idea of sex and then quickly decided against it. Valentines Schmalentines. When I’m done, I’m done.
7:30pm. 2.5 hours late. Pounding on the door, I swear I smelled the booze on him before opening it. “Hapshy Balentine Nov”. Classy. He’s drunk, high and in his hands are my gifts from Cupid. Not flowers, but a blunt, a screw-top magnum of cheap wine and I think he signed the card on his knee in the elevator. Oh, did I mention the bottle wine had already been opened and was a quarter empty? Cha.
Q&A-SCREAMING SISTERS
