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FEMALE BULLY FOREVER?

11:56 PM Posted by MS.NOVA

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Since I can remember, my reputation has been of a tough chick. In school, I was a total tomboy, excelled at sports, and was picked to be on the guys soccer team when other girls my age were cheerleading and crushing my teammates. To hold my own, I was a bit of a scrapper, never backing down to a fight, no matter who or how many girls were dogging me out. There are a million bars I've been tossed out of, I have put girl in and been to the hospital myself because of my fighting, and when I get really crazy angry and no one is around, I've made it habit of destroying property (cars, computers, pouring bleach on clothes)

A month ago, my best friend got caught up in one of my battles (I wasn't there) and she got beat really, really bad. The other girl literally broke her face (orbital bone) and my friend almost went blind. I think it was a wake up call, but I almost can't help but fight. I give dirty looks when I'm out to eat, and when there is alcohol involved, its a matter of time until i'm fighting.


I'm scared I could get really hurt and that I wont' get into a good school with a bad reputation.
How do I soften up this tough girl?



Have a similar situation? Comments? Let us know and Darling Nicky will give it to you straight!




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1 comments:

  1. Darling Nicky said...
    March 6, 2011 at 6:54 PM

    That you are in fighting mode well beyond those early years of elementary school lends itself to the idea that it is more out of habit, and that you don't know any other way to be except for that aggressive, fighter chick. Sounds like you may benefit from an anger management course that will help to teach you what your triggers are, and teach you some different coping mechanisms.

    In the meantime, you need to do some things that:
    A) help channel your aggression differently like take up a hobby that allows you to express yourself and expend that energy like training for a marathon, blogging your feelings out, or a humanitarian cause that requires physical labour like Habitat for Humanity and,
    B) help you connect to your more feminine qualities. Women who look and feel "womanly" tend not to want to get all disheveled from fighting. Watch some chick flicks, like Beaches and Terms of Endearment and Eat, Pray, Love.

    People that have such a high propensity for anger, clearly have a high propensity for emotion in general which means their IS a way to re-wire your reactions.

    While I'm worried that you could get seriously hurt (and hurt more people), I am also concerned about you going to jail for assault.

    Connect with a counselor in your city. Please.

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