WORKING WITH INFORMATION GIVEN

11:05 AM Posted by MS.NOVA

"I can only work based on information given." An insightful perspective given to me by my fifty something running partner. Emotion and assumption can get us in trouble when attempting to come to a decision rooted in the land of reason.

When dealing with others, be it co-workers, friends, family or a snippy customer service rep who hates her job, I save myself both stress and confusion by working with the information given. Doing this allows the facts to rise to the surface while fluffy pleasantries move out the way like Luda on the dancefloor. I'll even repeat back what the person has said to me, so that THEY are clear on what they requested or what they have revealed. "So you want to me to do ______, _____, and _____ for YOU while YOU watch television and wait for feeding time? Am I right about that?"

In my dating days of yester-year, this mantra of "let me know what my options are" allowed the gentleman in question a one time chance to be honest with no judgement or concequence. If he was dating others, just looking for fun, working with a hectic schedule or whatever, this was the time to tell me. Then, I could act accordingly (based on information given) and spare the drama that comes with mixed messages and games. If he was dishonest with that information and I was made aware of it, the 'why-me-i'm-an-idiot-for-falling-for-it" routine was trimmed down from a few days to a few hours. A liar is a liar. its not personal.

We know what we want, but we can be swayed by the clarity, conviction and confidence of others. Suddenly all our needs are out the door. By asking up front, in a way true to me, I gave myself the option of choice and that my friends is a powerful option to have.