KNOW WHAT YOU BRING TO THE TABLE
4:07 PM Posted by MS.NOVA
When looking for love, its natural to have a clear sense of what you are looking for in a partner. In my dating days, I remember certain friends having an impossible laundry list of qualifications in order to fill the position of homie/lover/friend. These same girls were chasing athletes, musicians, producers and men in positions of power and not that there was anything wrong with that, but I realized that they were dependent on this dream man for more then what they themselves could bring to the table. Its obvious that you want someone who has a certain level of accomplishment, but true connections lasts based on commonalities. Lets say he travels the world for a living and is a mulit-millionaire, now what common denominators will he have with a woman who's never left her hometown and lives in the basement at moms? No matter how cute you are or how fat your ass it, honey, that isn't enough to keep a man. A man-child maybe, but not the man you want.
Point is, its not about HIM and what he has. His stuff is his and how he got it or keeps it has nothing to do with you. What do you bring to the table? What are your assets, accomplishments and action plans? Do you have a plan? Make this year about you, what you want, how you will do it and when. Walking in the world with this mindset, knowing you are in control of your life and all that does and does not happen will arm you with a new type of confidence and energy that will be sure to attract someone who is doing the same for their own lives.
If you find someone, fantastic. You'll have the advantage about what you EXPECT and what you will ACCEPT. Case in point, look at some of our BasketBall Wives on TV. They have to settle for a subpar relationship because the man is holding all the cards. Your self-worth is much more then shoes and bags. If you don't meet someone, all good, you are improving yourself and feeling better then ever. At this point its a matter of time.
If you are serious about having a partner, be serious about what kind of co-captain you can be on a winning team. Speaking of winners, below is a wonderful anecdote that sums up the mindset of Michelle Obama. "He is what he is because he is with me."
One night President Obama and his wife Michelle decided to do something out of routine and go for a casual dinner at a restaurant that wasn't too luxurious. When they were seated, the owner of the restaurant asked the president's secret service if he could please speak to the First Lady in private. They obliged and Michelle had a conversation with the owner.
Following this conversation President Obama asked Michelle, "Why was he so interested in talking to you?" She mentioned that in her teenage years, he had been madly in love with her. President Obama then said, "So if you had married him, you would now be the owner of this lovely restaurant", to which Michelle responded,
"No, if I had married him, he would now be the President".
Thats what I'm talking about!! Know your worth and what you bring to the table ladies!
January 9, 2011 at 7:43 PM
I just read this entire post to my boyfriend. We both love it! Thanks Nova.
January 10, 2011 at 8:56 PM
I am now a follower! Inspiring.