CAN YOU BE DADDY'S GIRL WHEN MARRIED?
4:43 PM Posted by MS.NOVA
In short, I'm 34, married and still mooch off my parents. I am a housewife (my husband is very traditional and doesn't want me to work) and my husband was laid off almost two years ago. He's no bum, out there looking and he's had to take two lower paying jobs in order to break even, but it leave no money for 'extras'. Eating out, new clothes, movies or having a life - we just can't afford.
My dad is retired but wants to help even though he is on a fixed income himself. He's lent us money, bought grocery gift cards, bought clothes, the works. I'll look at what I'm wearing and see that every item was bought by or given to me from someone else. When my dad and I argue about his drinking or family issues, I feel I have no right to say anything because I've been outfitted by daddy. Its a pathetic feeling.
Where do I draw the line when it comes to being a daddy's girl?
Have a similar situation? Comments? Let us know below! Darling Nicky will give it to you straight.
February 15, 2011 at 7:51 AM
*looks at calendar* Yep, as I thought, it's 2011!!
It appears as though the only reason you gave for not going out and seeking employment for yourself is that your husband is traditional. Traditional as in caveman? Times are tough right now, and this is not a foreign concept to your household as your husband's lay off was probably as a result of financial cutbacks at his company. But, how does that become your father's burden to carry? Certainly if your dad is willing to help then consider yourself extremely lucky, but he did not pay into his pension all his working years so he could up and spend it on you and your husband in his golden years.
Eating out, new clothes, and going to the movies are all LUXURIES, and I certainly hope that's not where your Dad's contributions are going. You need to sit your husband down, and agree that "traditional values" make no sense in a modern world. If the compromise is that you can work, but must stay at home, there are an endless list of customer service or administrative type jobs that you can do from home. Even just 4 hours a day stuffing envelopes will being in extra money to lessen the burden on both your husband and your father.
You are right about not having a leg to stand on when it comes to critiquing your father's drinking habits and don't you want to be in a position where you can help him address that?
You make no mention of having children with your husband, so why on Earth do you need to stay home? We live in a new era where everybody in the home should be pulling their own weight.
To answer the question "Where do I draw the line when it comes to being a daddy's girl?"...the answer is, when you got married.