LIVE TO TELL: REVEALING ME
about the life that I am living,
and about how much I always wanted to be this person and live this life, liberated...
I think about everything I endured before getting here and wonder if it was me -
I mean, this happy and balanced me,
who is now dozing in the deck of this small Indonesian fishing boat -
who pulled the other, younger, more confused and more struggling me
forward during all those hard years.
The younger me was the acorn full of potential,
but it was the older me, the already-existent oak, who was saying the whole time: “Yes-grow! Change! Evolve!
Come and meet me here, where I already exist in wholeness and maturity!
I need you to grow into me!"
And maybe it was this present and fully actualized me
who was hovering four years ago over that young married sobbing girl
on the bathroom floor, and maybe it was this me who whispered lovingly
into that desperate girl’s ear, “Go back to bed, Liz...”
Knowing already that everything would be OK,
that everything would eventually bring us together here.
Right here, right to this moment.
Where I was always waiting
in peace and contentment,
always waiting
for her to arrive
and join
me.
(Eat Pray Love. Elizabeth Gilbert: 2006 pg. 329)
I'm so much further along this road now.
It's scary and exciting
but I'm peeling back the layers to reveal more of me.
Like one of those Russian nesting dolls with wide open eyes and rosy cheeks.
Always smiling.
"people don't change. they just show you who they are."
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