LIVE TO TELL - GAYS & GIRLS (Pride Edition)

3:56 PM Posted by MS.NOVA

"HaPShY pRiiiDe!"

Every June in a drunken fog on Toronto's Church Street, I slurred these words to anyone who'd listen. Girls and gay's were born besties! Can you picture Carrie without Stanford? Would you even want to?! NO!

A guy for your girl problems, a girl for your guy problems. Unconditional love and bitchiness! Everyone wins! It takes true courage to be who you are with no apologies. Like it or not, disown me if you must, this is me. Anyone living their truth is a friend-o-mine!!

June is set aside for Gay Pride! In honor of that, I want to say haaaaay *hair flip* to my gays and briefly share the wonderful influence this community has had on my life.

For 30+ years, Thomas Smith has been my mother's hairdresser and confidant. Thom and his partner James have been constant figures in my life - my non-dysfunctional uncles. Hilarious and always honest, they influenced me to "take no shit." I was too young to understand at the time, but the pressures of single motherhood got to be a bit much, I know they provided my mom a place to vent, laugh and step into herself again. Thom and James encouraged her creativity - for gardening, home interiors and expressing herself with ever changing hair color. Our home, with purple living rooms and plaid curtains, was always gorgeous, no matter how little money we had. Thom and James, thank you for brining beauty and laughter to my life and reminding me that "it takes all kinds."

One day in my senior year of high school, Adam yanked me out of the cafeteria explaining he needed to talk. Excited, nervous and honest, he came out. Instantly he was 500 pounds lighter. I could see HIM. Adam and I lived together for a few years in Toronto and has seen me in highs (literally) and lows (protective services?!) and all shades in between. Adam and I are coming into our 18th year of friendship. He is my brother from another mother and rare species of man who wants nothing but to love me and make me smile.

To supplement my income while slaving away at a record label, I waitressed in the "gay-borhood" of Church Street. Zelda's - home to the cities best drag queens and packed patios. I learned that gay men are the worlds best tippers (double income, no kids) and delightfully entertaining! Especially the dirty ones! Serving "Bitch Slap" martini's, I heard "coming out" horror stories while trying to translate the ramblings of a sketched out meth head. Two tables over, George, a 60 something regular, struggled for an hour to finish the 34 pills he need to live. Alex and Mike, together for 28 years ordered fries and gravy everyday and cruised for the new and confused "boiz" in town. Oh! and you haven't done Halloween until you've celebrated the gay way!!

I met leather daddies, bull dykes, trannies, girly boyz, queens, and 2 mom/2 dad families who just wanted to love their kids. But the memories of my customers who were living with AIDS, just diagnosed, waiting for the results, or slipping away each time I saw them, those faces stayed with me. For years AIDS has been a "gay cause". Now it is the #1 killer of women my color and my age in America. I got a serious reality check on the importance and value of life from the gay community. Differences aside, all we need is love.

HAPPY PRIDE!

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