LIVE TO TELL - CARIBANA & TRUSTING MY GUT

11:23 PM Posted by MS.NOVA

Once upon a time when I was a pretty young thing, my year revolved around Caribana - the largest Caribbean festival in North America and always a gooood time! High energy, feel good music pulsing through every speaker in the city, over 1 million participating and more then enough single men and women looking for, ahem, a dance partner!!

Caribana is the first weekend in August, but by March, our hotel rooms were booked! When it was "game time" I'd gather with my girlfriends and pack in a hotel room or cramped apartment for an estrogen filled weekend of getting dolled up, perfecting the art of flirting and swapping stories of who was cute and unreal pickup lines. Something special happens with 8 or more like minded women get together, its part giggle fest, part comedy show, with some heart to heart chats and encouragment for good measure.

"You look great in that! He wants YOU girl! Woooah miss sexy, my dress looks better on you then me! Hold my hand in the crowd so we don't get lost. Did you see your ex, are you OK? Throw up girl, you'll feel better, I'll stay with you."

Giving the guy a green light - extended eye contact and a smile - took me years to master. Partly due to my own confidence, the other due to working with a lot of men and trying extra hard not to confuse my friendly personality with being Miss Friendly. Eye contact can be an invitation to some but you might send it to the wrong address if you know what I mean! "Oh no!! I wasn't giving you a green light, you were just in my sight line. Now I have to be polite and entertain a conversation for 7 minutes? ugh..."

I lived a block away from Yonge Street - the epicenter of the peacocking between Toronto women and out of town men. My girls and I would walk up and down the street, change outfits, have a recap laugh and hit the streets again! Vodka Slurpees were the weapon of choice, but when you mix hot weather, alcohol and horny people, there are always a few guys who can take it to the next level ad ruin it for everyone.

About 10 years ago, I clearly remember walking with a gaggle of friends down Yonge Street and slowly approaching a throng of men. You can smell the weed, the expensive cognac mixed with their sweat. They are aggressive, obnoxious and literally swarming any women that passes by, clamoring for a smack or a grab of flesh, video cameras searching for a shot of ass and titties. Gross.

By this point, its too late to cross the street and the momentum of the crowd on the packed sidewalk pushed me and my girls closer to the drunken meat market. As predicted, the guys hone in on my hot pink halter top and firm 20 year old body. Shit. One jackass steps in front of me, blocking my way, and leans in for a kiss!! My disgusted reaction riles the jackles even more. They grab my breast, thighs, and start pulling on my top, getting so peaked with fever, they rip it right off. OFF!! In the middle of thousands of people...

Shirt was retrieved and I quickly covered myself and ran the 3 blocks home. For that mess I learned some super valuable lessons about dealing with overly aggressive men and traveling in a big crowd:

Watch the drinking. If you are drunker then him, its a wrap.
Stay sober enough to hear that loud scream of a voice called your instincts. They are the voice of God and there for a reason.
Trust your gut. I knew that group of guys was going to be a problem, but I didn't want to look uncool. Screw that, your safety is paramount and travel with a friend who respects and supports that.
Be polite to assholes. Ignore the behavior, avoid eye contact, call him sir and tell him have a fantastic day. He'll be so stunned, and you'll be gone. We have heard horror stories of girls getting hurt just for turning someone down. He might be scum, but it's just not worth it.
Plan your exit/meeting point. Talk with the girls about what to do should they find themselves lost and I know its a bit paranoid, but when in a super crowded club, make a mental note of the exits. While I'm looking for the restroom, I always do that and its saved me more then once.

If you are in or our of Toronto, ladies I KNOW you have stories!! This was one of many many many (ask me about "Naked New Jersey Guy") but here is where we swap, laugh, learn and remember why we are all better for it.

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